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Do i need any corrections on my photo essay or any changes?

there are 3 industries : primary, secondary and Tertiary.these three industries are involved in makig objects around us.i will explain to you how wool gets turned into big comfy sweaters.the wool is been cut off the sheep's body.the clean wool is carded, or combed.then the carded wool is spun into smooth, fine yarn.the yarn is dyed in different colours, and then sent to factories.After the wool has dried off, it is set in machine.the shape of the sweater is drawn.the wool is made into the shape needed.then the sweaters are packed and sent to stores to be sold.the sweaters are brought to the store.in the store the sweaters are unpacked and organised for people to buy.the sweaters are bought.the sweaters are finally worn for winter.All these industries are involved when turning wool (cut off sheep) into sweaters, worn by us.i have showed you the steps that take to make a sweater.Hope you enjoyed the presentation.

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