Does anyone have an idea on how to do this?
my science teacher just went over this in class but she over explained it and the whole class had no idea what she was talking about basically you find the thinkness of the sheet in english (should be written on the box) then in a science book find out the length of athe molecule (it'll be a really small number like 0.000000002 or something)( or in a metric unit like micrometers) make sure they are in the same units(metricmetric, standardstandard) then its just a process of finding out how many lengths of a molecule you need to equal the length of the foil the math gets alittle complicated but you should be able to figure it, if not then ask you science or even math teacher for help (assuming your doing this for a school project) also if its just aluminum foil, aluminum is an element, there are no molecules (i dont think anyway) just atomswhich should actually mean that finding the length is easier good luck
Your descriptions are good, but the dialogue is a little cheesy and over-the-topIt doesn't really sound the way a teenager (or any person, for that matter) would talkYou might want to work on thatAnd it's not really very realisticWhat are the chances that someone who actually cares enough to stop someone from committing suicide is going to be on the same bridge as a suicidal person at exactly the right time (if it's NOT a coincidence, I'm sorry)? And how realistic is it that a teenager is literally going to kill herself because her boyfriend left her? Again, if there's something else going on, disregard thisAnd you used a few too many commasTry ending a sentence here and there.
Maybe needs a little editingFor example: The wind blew through my hair, whistled in my ears as I stood as still as rockI listened to the birds soft, light song and looked out in front of me at the most beautiful, and heartWARMING scene I had ever seenThe sky was gorgeous, a breathtaking shade of pink and yellow, with an orange tint to itThe sun was just beginning to rise and (Take the sun out) was creating a brilliant effect on the glimmering water below meI inched my feet forward slowly, putting my arms out to feel the wind slipping through my fingersI sighed HEAVILY, and just as I started to bend my knees to propel myself into the air and let the wind have its way with me, a hand caught my arm and spun me aroundI was caught off guard and almost stumbled back into the CRYSTAL CLEAR water below meAs I composed myself, I realized the person that held my arm was a stranger to me I like it a lot, but try using different words other than beautiful , I noticed that I had seen the word beautiful a few times, and try not to repeat the same word in the same sentence, like when you said The SUN was just beginning to rise and the SUN was creating a brilliant effect on the glimmering water below me As you can see, I capitalized my edits and put in parenthesesHope that's not too much criticism, otherwise you're story is great (: Good luck (: Edit: I tried not to change your story too much, I wanted to keep it as original as possible, after all, it's your story, you can do what you like with it (:
Okay the jumping because of a guy part is totally clichedShe should feel pressure, like just after being dumped being forced into a serious situation with her family or schoolPeople usually kill themselves as an escapeTo leave behind emotions such as grief, depression, and just pure panicI think one of the most important aspects of writing is to gain knowledge of how people react to different situationsBefore you have a story you have a situation and characters and you have to be sure to make your character's actions are in conformity with human logic.
I would say that it's not very goodNot to be unkind, but to be honestThere are far too many adjectivesTry to use noneLess is moreThe paragraphs are not formatted correctly which makes it hard to followWhen a new person begins speaking, a new paragraph beginsThe dialogue tags are nutsUse he said or she saidLook at the books you readThey use saidUnfortunately, this piece really says nothingIt reads like a teenager telling her friend a benign story I'm sorryI know how a negative critique can feelI don't mean to hurt your feelingsBut I would be doing you a disservice to tell you anything else.
