What exactly would I need ?
7. It has good imagry, but it seems a bit choppy. Just make smoother transitions between the lines and see if you can make a more regular meter. Right now it seems to be a list of feelings.
get a running start and slowly keep the same speed on the hill. snow tires/chains also help.
7/8 I love the fact that you went the darker route with your telling. The fear of the rollercoaster journey (and during) overrides the moments of pleasure for me as well. I thought that you beautifully illustrated that passion and emotion. Never let anyone tell you what the experience is supposed to be about…it is always your journey and your own personal experience.My comments on the structure of the poem… The storm captured us A lightning rod speared my heart A thunderous boom exploded from my mouth A streak of illumination spread across my lips (Something is missing between these two stanzas…tell me about the actual ride) The storm passed Leaving us in the aftermath Bruises that blemish our hearts will never heal They will only make us stronger for next time Again…beautiful illustration. Great job!
