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Question:

What do I do about a demonic fold-out chair?

It FELL OVER on my 7 year old little brother while it was folded, so after checking him out to see if he was hurt, I told him to sit on the chair and show it who's boss. A few minutes later, I was sitting on the floor and used the chair to help me up. It had a piece of metal coming out and it cut the edge of my right hand, deep. What should I do about this seemingly posessed fold-out chair we've had for 3 years? (and I am NOT kidding)

Answer:

you're telling me you've had that evil chair for 3 years? i hate to think what other sadistic things it's done to you guys. obviously, the chair is up to no good and has something personal against your family. it's time to take some action. at midnight, gather your family in your back yard for a bonfire... and cremate the demonic fold-out chair. you could even gather all the other chairs in the house to witness what happens to evil furniture in the house. death to evil furniture.
bang it a couple times against the wall for all the harm it has done , throw it down the steps, grab it by its legs swing it around until it finds the dumpster do a slamn dunk with it. Now you'll show the chair who is boss ,then take the rest of the day off due to chair stress.
Give it to your worst enemy.
hump the demon out of it
It sounds like you have had a few mishaps with the chair and if you believe it is demonic then you can throw it away. If you know someone who can cast out demons have them exorcise the chair. Demonic spirits can attach themselves to objects and someone who sat in the chair left one behind. If you are spiritual and grounded in your faith you can rebuke it yourself but be careful that it doesn't attach itself to you or harm you further. The Christian Bible talks about demon posession and how to get rid of them perhaps this source will be helpful. Read the story about the demons who were sent into the heard of pigs after they were cast out of a man by Jesus Christ. Read the story about the Religious man who thought he could cast out demons and the demons attacked him.

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