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Question:

Whose chair is it to give?

When my mom was a toddler, she had a rocking chair. When I was a toddler, it was my chair. My little sister never used it because she never stayed over at our grandma's house, where it was kept. When I was a little older, it was my dolls' chair. Now my sister has a son, and my mom wants to give her the chair for him. I dont begrudge my nephew anything, but his mom never learned to take care of things--she breaks everything she touches. Plus I had wanted to give it to my own kids someday. So what do you think? Whose chair is it?

Answer:

If I was in your shoes, I imagine I'd say to my Mom: IF (your other daughter) had a history of showing appreciation for heirlooms things, I would consider giving them the chair. However, everything she's ever had has been ruined by neglect or misuse. Let's get (her grandson) his own rocking chair . . . and consider insisting on paying for it yourself, or at least contributing towards it. I think that would be the best route to take. Hopefully your mom doesn't get her feathers wrinkled too easily. You are the one with the sentimental attachment to it, so --I feel-- probably ought to be allowed to keep it. Plus . . . If your grandmother gave it to you --or, if your mother once gave it to you-- it is still yours. Parents often give their kids things with 'strings attached' --in their hearts-- that the children don't learn about until later . . . and feel that as long as they are alive it is their 'call' who gets possession of said gifts at any given time. Hopefully your mom is more understanding than that! Talk to your mom about your feelings . . . all of them . . . but do so with gentle tact --even if it is already technically otherwise yours-- so she will know the reasons behind your desire to keep it. That may help her to accept it. Especially if you are gung ho to get the boy his *own* rocking chair.
Sep 30, 2017
If your grandmother is still alive - it's your grandmother's chair. If she is not alive then the chair would be left to her children - therefore it is your mother's chair to give. It's just a chair. It has no special powers - when you have a child - either your sister will be dying to get rid of that one or you will get a new chair and be just as happy.
Sep 30, 2017
I#x27;d say it would be most appropriate to give it to you, if your sister never used it. It has more sentimental value to you. If it wouldn#x27;t cause too much of a conflict I#x27;d express your visions for the chair in your future. If your mother seems set on giving to your sister, except it and move on. After all it is just stuff. You can#x27;t take it with you when you die.
Sep 30, 2017
Yours, you used it a lot more. Just tell your mom that you want to give it to your future kids.
Sep 30, 2017
Technically you're the last one that had it. So it yours, then your children's. Your choice though.
Sep 30, 2017

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