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How could I improve this paragraph?

How can I improve this paragraph?The blurriness began to dissipateMax could see nothing but a wall made of aluminum in front of himHis wrists ached, tied to the two poles behind himCoughing, he wondered were Sean wasThe aluminum room glistened of red, mirroring the image and intensity of a burning red light.“Sean!” He yelled with desperation, trying to break free“Where are you!”The door near him openedChills went up and down his spine as a mysterious foot stepped throughIt appeared to be a man cloaked with a gray hoodMax felt frightened, having a sense that the mysterious person might be Theris.“Who are you!” Max shouted with anger“You shall not speak unless spoken to,” the hooded man replied softly.“Why don't you untie me so I can pop that melon shaped head of yours.”

Answer:

well, when the labor force is sitting at home collecting welfare because there is no work for unskilled laborers, it's better that the work be done by people Robotics is all well and good, but robots don't buy products, robots don't help the economy What exactly is an unnecessary task? If it's unnecessary why is it a task at all?
I grew up in an era when service station attendents pumped your gas, cleaned your windshield, and checked your oil for youThere were no ATMsWhen you went to a bank, you stood in line for a tellerSo.self check, unfortunately, is just part of an ongoing trend, and I don't feel the need to fight it I do not believe that the problem with unemployment is the benefitsAs someone who has been actively looking for work for a year, I say the problem is the stinking federal economy and my sucky semi-socialist state government Business has been fleeing my state and moving to more business-friendly states for years, and the federal government is doing its best to actively discourage business all over the country (while encouraging business in places like Brazil)You do not make enough on unemployment to discourage you from looking for workI get less than the minimum wage, and I get more than some peopleIf I had not put a substantial percentage of my income into savings when I was working, I would have lost my house by now.
I think that the unemployment rate among uneducated blue collar workers is around 19% right nowI also think that there is more that is lost than a job, like human interactionI might be all for it if the Wal-Mart and the likes were not a collasal monopoly that use the cost cutting measures to lower their prices (as in a sound economic capitalist system) instead of just put it in their CEO's pocketAnd lastly you do need to be careful, this society can not function with us all driving our foreign cars, drinking our foreign coffee, and washing each others cars LOL Im sorry star I love you but that is tremendously ignorant (in the uneducated way)This country lost 10% of our jobs in the blue collar sector almost at once (and even more if you want to go back to before NAFTA)The private sector jobs has been moving sideways since (not adding not losing), that is a jobs problem not a benefits problemLook Im a capitalist to, but if you really want to be a capitalist you need to understand where it starts to failTurn off the TV read the news.
Most self-checkout have item limitsAnd because people can be REALLY FRICKIN slow, even with one or two items, cashiers can rest assured they won't be losing their jobs any time soonThey are still much more efficient for regular shopping and moving lines Not at all comparable to menial tasks, like moving an elevatorIt's like going to another state, where I'm not allowed to pump my own gasWhy do I need someone else to do what I can easily do myself? Yes, these guys - usually high school boys - have jobs, and it's probably marginally good for their state economy to have these jobs available, no matter how unnecessaryBut if the station hits financial trouble, they should be able to get rid of the unnecessary - like gas-pumpers who do what anyone else can doIt doesn't help the economy when businesses go under because they cannot afford their staffBut then, when it comes to economics, I'm pretty blah and don't know much.
Seems good, but you need to add some commas at the extra information pointsexample: nothing,but a wall, made of aluminum, in front of him.

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