So last night, i moved the sofa to clean up under it like i regularly do. I was shocked, so much that I'm still speechless. The back was slashed from side to side, up and down. I bought this sofa a couple of months ago. My son said his guinea pig was stuck inside. I don't inderstand why he didn't tell me first instead of cutting up my sofa. I cried about it, i don't understand how he could do this. I 'm way too shocked. I have'nt punished him yet. I'm trying to understand. Thr sofa is a total loss, how do i teach him that this is not ok?
At eight years old, he already knew this was NOT okay. Forget the guinea pig excuse. He was angry about something and this idea came to mind as something he could do to get even with the world and not get found out till later. You need to have a talk with him not about the sofa in particular, but in destructive behavior in general. Perhaps give him chores to do and mark off a financial amount for each chore each time he does it until he has paid off at lease one-fourth of the cost of repairing or replacing the sofa. This will extend the punishment and re-remind him of what he did wrong and why it was wrong.
Sit down with him and ask him why he didn't come get you... Explain to him that sofa was your own guinea pig that you value and it hurt for you to see him slash it up. If he owns up to knowing his actions were wrong then let it go- not many kids can do that and be proud that your child can take ownership to things. if he gets mad or defensive ya dont have to hit him... Put him in time out in a room by himself. This is how grown ups learned how to step aside when they need to cool down from being angry before they start making actions out of anger emotion which never ends up good. There will be some screaming coming from his room, this is normal- but when he calms down... Go in, give him a hug and kiss- and say ya still love him but then address that ya want him to take ownership on knowing what's right and wrong.. Once he owns up to it, let it go... thats the purpose of talking to him isnt it? If he gets defensively angry again- put him in time out. and repeat until he becomes to understand that ya want him to know what he did was wrong. No hitting needed.
Of course, you will have to punish him but keep in mind he's just a kid. I would get some upholstery thread and a large needle. You can hand-sew the piece back onto the couch. It will not look like new, but nobody looks back there anyway if you keep the sofa up against the wall. Have the boy help you fix it. He's too small to do much, but he can hold the fabric or thread the needle or other small helps.
The sofa isn't a total loss. Just because the back is slashed, that doesn't prevent you from sitting down on it, and the damage cannot be seen if it is placed against a wall. Sit down and talk to your son and explain how upset you are, and tell him what he should have done instead. Then move on. A damaged sofa is not the end of the world.
I guess you should be releaved that he actually had a motive for doing what he did. He obviously needs to understand that he should have told you what was going on rather than try to handle it himself. I'd point out to him that because he did what he did you are now going to have to buy a new sofa. You might want to figure out how the guinea pig could have been removed without damaging the sofa, then point it out to him. Hopefully he'll understand that if he got you involved the result would have been much better. Like I implied earlier, at least you aren't dealing with a child that has some weird issues. I don't think you'll have the same problem again, but if you over react he'll probably be afraid when something comes up in the future that he should be telling you about because he'll be afraid of your reaction.
