More detail: My husband also told me last October that he is tired of his job of 25 years. He works for his parents and they would be devistated if he left so he stays. He makes a good salary,benefits and has it good. He turned 40 in July 2007. He bought a motorcycle after he had told me about his confusion toward his job, his life and me. 3 weeks ago he told me he has been falling out of love with me for about 3 years which again was a total shock! He was intimate to me up until this point. I would have never guessed. We were always so passsionate when we made love he just couldn't have been faking it!!! He works 5 1/2 days weekly as an excavator, he's been in the fire company for 25 years, he is a Boy Scout leader. My son is in Scouts. I know he is very busy and I never nag him or get mad at him for not being around much. I was content as long as he was intimate with me but now I feel like I'm just here for the chores etc. I love him with all my heart. Help?
Probably okorder I love that homepage.Give it a try ;) good luck!
Sweetie,I honestly believe it's like I said he is going through a midlife crisis. He could leave you during this if you don't get some marriage counseling. Do not take no from him about it either....he needs to go. I would really be watching him because he may already be having an affair with someone. The motorcycle would be a good excuse to get away for a nice ride to somewhere or with someone. I don't mean to upset you but at this point he is up to something if you ask me. I am an older woman and went through this with my husband and I said therapy or no more marriage with me. It's very scary when you love someone and they start changing and the intimacy stops and you wonder why he even bothers to stay if he so miserable. A midlife crisis does not mean that a man cannot control himself and make rational choices so if he does something here against his marriage do not accept this as an excuse. I am not kidding you what is it with these boy scouts....my husband was also a scout leader for years...maybe this is a sign that they are still little immature boys .... I don't know? All I can tell you is to get on line or go to a book store and look up the signs of men in crisis because he sure sounds like he is and you need to get the best information on how to handle your situation because every relationship is different. Best of luck to you .
He is having the Mid Life crisis When you turn 40 you have to look at your life and what you have done and he obviously has taken the wrong look at himself. He has to appreciate the things he has and not go the other way such as the motorcycles and the guys at work. Tell him that he should be doing this at 50 or 60 not 40. There is still a lot of time and love left for both of you and your family. He also should appreciate his job with his family, I would trade for his job security in a heartbeat! Every winter I am out of work, looking to make the payments on the bills (electrician). The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, But it still has to be MOWED!
You're gonna have to do some serious planning! What made him love you, in the first place. Sounds like he wants to leave, but doesn't want to leave... Do what you can to make him fall in love all over again. Make him notice you, again. You did it once, do it again!
See my first answer; look, he is being honest with you. It sounds like he is assessing his life and feeling that he has missed out on something. It happens. 40 is still very young, he has another 25 years of working life...It also sounds like your intimacy was just physical....like a habit. I know you think you are a good wife, and I'm sure you are.....but he has changed and moved on without you. I'm really sorry, but it does not sound good.
