right now i am living with parents. i go to college- nursing major. i dont have a really good job and only work temporarily now in a restaurant type of environment and with little to show. i feel that i dont contribute financially. my parents can afford to support room and board while i am living under their roof and they dont mind to do so since i guess we have a good family relationship. but i constantly feeling guilty since i dont work as hard in school, and today i watch my dad is working and i am just swamped with guilt. i cant sleep now, i felt that i am wasting the electricity to write this piece. i really love my parents, i just think that i dont do enough for them..
I just transitioned from a 50k annual job back to nursing school and make close to nothing per week. My bf knows this and I still feel like a failure since I can't provide at all. I am used to being independent and having money to do as I please... Have you ever been to college full time before? Do you think about where you'll be when you graduate? Patience is all it takes and once you graduate you will be well on your way to providing for yourself and financial stability. Your parents most likely understand this, and no, I don't think your a free loader. If you really put it in retrospect, think about when your parents age and the help they may need from you. Everyone will benefit wonderfully since you'll be a nurse to your elderly parents. They help you now, you'll help them then. They are your family, there to help you when you need it! It is important to realize that while you may feel this way, its a win/win cycle that eventually evens out. Your parents love you and want the best for you and know you will benefit once you graduate! Good luck!
A free-loader is the type of individual who takes advantage of an environment of ease handed to them and doesn't seek to supply their own way out. From what you've said, you're not really a free loader... after all, you feel guilt at the idea that your parents are supporting you, and a free loader wouldn't. Granted, the fact that you're not working as hard at school isn't a great sign for the other side, bu still... from how it sounds, you and your parents get along well, and they are trying to help you out in this. Believe me, as someone who used to be in similar circumstances, there are two great ways to pay off your parent's good will: 1) Do well in school, get your degree, and become independent as a result. Believe me when I say parents willing to house you so you can school are look for this very result! 2) On your days off or in your free time, ask your folks what you can do to help around the house. This will let them know that not only are you there as a homebase per se, but are willing to contribute back to them during the stay. From what you've said, I can't think you are a freeloader, since you feel bad about imposing and are looking for some sort of outside opinion to see how best to improve on it by even asking the question. Just honor the reason they are keeping you there, and do what you can to better yourself, and not only will you realize how lucky you are to have such supportive parents, but you will show them how much you are willing to make yourself independent. Keep up the journey! People like you are bound to succeed as long as you don't take it all for granted, and don't slack in your attempts to rise up. I'm sure you'll do well!
The fact that you felt compelled enough to state this shows that you are not a cold, non-compassionate person. You're young and trying to find your way and it's still a parents job to support their children in times such as you find yourself in now. Maybe you should ask yourself why your not working very hard in school. Is it a subject (nursing) that you're not really interested in? If so then maybe it's time to change course. If it is a line of work that you are eager to get into then maybe it's just a matter of laziness. In either case start making changes to correct it and you will be surprised how the pieces start to easily fall in place.
How come you are not working hard at school? I think you should feel guilty about that. Since you can't contribute financially why don't you help out with chores? Mowing the lawns, washing, cleaning the bathroom etc. If your parents both work then they would definitely appreciate having some jobs done when they get home. Work hard at you degree, it's important and you will feel awful if you fail or don't do as well as what you should.
Just make the restaurant job a full-time job at night and possibly do schooling part-time. I think you should feel guilty if you are not studying hard enough. I plan on getting a job once I get my B.A. in Elementary Education and supporting my parents and grandparents and saving up money for the rest of my college.
