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You need to learn more about enuresis which is the medical term for bed wetting. It's not something that most kids can just stop. Their bladders aren't developed enough to go through a whole night with out emptying and the part of their brain that tells them that their bladder is full doesn't function well enough at night. IT'S NOT HIS FAULT!!!! Some kids wet the bed until they are as old as 12 both I and my daughter did and other than an underdeveloped bladder there was nothing wrong with either of us. Talk to his doctor because if he does it the younger child might also. You should find out if there is any one else in the family who did it. The grandparents might not have forced the issue because they knew that either their son or daughter did the same. IF it's your husbands parents that he lived with find out if your husband had that problem when he was a child or ask him to ask his ex's parents to see if she did. It tends to run in families like other medical issues. So you really should learn to deal with it so that you don't hurt him or frustrate both of you.
Unless the diabetes is uncontrolled and untreated, it is unlikely to be contributing. So, training him to identify that he is doing it, when he does it, will help to get him to prevent it from happening in sleep. The medical term is enuresis, so try searching under that term may be helpful for more tips. Some medications help like imipramine, but behavioral things may help to. Certainly psychological factors may play a roll and should be eliminated. Stress can worsen the bedwetting. Scheduled bathroom breaks just before bed, and in the middle of the night if necessary should be done. I believe there may be bed alarms that will wake him when he does it, in order to train him to awaken before he has to go instead of after. Most kids do grow out of it even at this age, and you shouldn't get too concerned. Helping them identify the porblem when it happens is necessary, but you must not punish him, which may worsen the stress part. Good luck.
My daughter is 3, a type 1 diabeteic, and she still wets the bed sometimes too. And she is much more likely to do it on nights when her blood sugar is higher. Younger kids have more blood sugar fluxuations, and it will be less controlled until they get older. I was told by my daughter's endocrinologist that high blood sugar doesn't effect kids as badly as adults, until they hit puberty and then it all changes. And since low blood sugar is so immediately dangerous they tend to keep the little ones' blood sugar higher. I keep my daugher's blood sugar under tighter control than they tell me to, so she doesn't pee the bed as much anymore. But that means I have to get up numerous times at night to check her blood sugar to make sure she doesn't go low. But there are some other things you can do to help too. Make sure he doesn't drink lots of fluids before bed. Don't cut him off completely, because making him dehydrated will have the same effect as giving him lots. Make sure he pees before bed, and set the alarm for the middle of the night and get him up to pee. You just find whatever time he usually goes and get up a little earlier. Eventually he should start waking up on his own to do it if you get him used to it. In the meantime, get him some Goodnights sleep pants. They work really well, they never seem to leak and I'll put the same one on my daughter a number of nights in a row if she hasn't peed in it.
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Hi Step-Mum, Bedwetting is THE MOST COMMON pediatric health issue in general practice. Once well-stabilized on insulin, your step-son should improve because he won't need to pee as much when his blood sugar is under control. Protect the mattress with a rubber sheet and praise him for his successes. Wash his pyjamas and sheets and don't pressure or humiliate him. He cannot help it. He will outgrow it, but it may take until he is ten or more years old. By ten years old, 95% of children are dry at night. Remember this is a common condition in all kids. A juvenile diabetic has lots to get used to. It is a difficult health condition. His grandparents are not letting him bedwet. Good for them if they are being patient with him. He needs patience and support. It will be more beneficial in the long run to be nice to him than giving him the message that he has an ugly habit over which he has no control.