heres the first few paragraphs of my story. should i continue writing?...which is due the 23rd. Now before the bell rings I would just like to finish up the.. *RING* *RING*The bell rang violently as the students franticly stuffed books and papers into there backpacks. It was friday at last and nobody had any intention of opening there backpacks again until sunday night. The hallways were suddenly flooded with people pushing and shoving there way to the front doors. Jack sat qietly at his desk waiting patiently for the halls to become deserted once again. He softly tapped his fingers on the desk as he watched Mr. Sanders gather up his papers.Ready for the weekend Jack? asked Mr. Sanders suddenly as he placed his papers neatly in his breifcase.Huh? Oh... yeah. Answered Jack.Any big plans?Yeah you know me, Jack stood up and pushed in his chair. I'm full of big plans.Jack hoisted his backpack onto his shoulders and made his way to the door.
yes, keep writing. You seem pretty descriptive, but need to place yourself more fully into the thoughts. Walk yourself through every foot step. He thought he was walking into the hallway alone? Will you later tell me he saw something he should not have seen? Did his footsteps become heavier after the exit door opened? Did they become lighter?
Very nice. I am very curious now why Jack waits until the halls are deserted before he leaves and why he always misses the bus. You've piqued my interest. For a 15-year-old, it's very good. You do have some spelling and/or punctuation errors. Check that before you turn it in.
By all means! Keep a notebook close to your nightstand. You may wake up in the middle of the night with more inspirational thoughts. Try more verbs and less adjectives. Show but don't tell. Try some subscriptions such as WRITER DIGEST. There are many workshops, competitions, tips and you MUST do a loto of reading from all sources.... Don't be afraid to show your true colors..! GOOD LUCK!
i could. no be counted what. As of suited now, I purely write for myself. Writing is my break out from fact into the deep geographical regions of my suggestions. whether i desperate to be printed sooner or later and replaced into rejected by all or if I in no way offered a duplicate, i could shop writing. Writing retains me sane. that is tremendously plenty the top of the story. If i did not have writing, i could probable finally end up locked away for the loopy issues my suggestions comes up with! So yeah, i could in no way supply up writing, no be counted the fee :)
