should i get an i5 2500 or a 965 BE and wait for bulldozer to upgrade?
It would go with Sandy Bridge. It's here now, and it's plenty fast, and it's pretty cheap for the performance it offers. If AMD gets Bulldozer out this year, it will be late to market by about year, and by that time Intel's Ivy Bridge CPU's will be close to hitting the market. Also Ivy Bridge CPU's will work on the P67/Z68 based LGA 1155 mobos. And if they aren't fast enough, LGA 2011 with the Sandy Bridge E CPU's will be even faster.
