I was at home, and all of a sudden all the smoke detectors started beeping at the same time, and when they stopped, they all stopped at the same time.
If you have a Cisco network (most other brands support this too), why not use 802.1X (port security). It will restrict what machines can access the network as step one. As for user access you may want to look into RADIUS, or TACACS. You can control access to Cisco systems with Cisco ACS.
what do you mean expired? Past its 12 month inspection, its 6 year hydrostatic test, monthly inspection, or actually empty. Either way, its a crappy question, but the risk is higher than it should be,