How do you stop a dog from eating sheets and blankets during the night?
I've been working at a job for 4 months now and I haven't made any personal connections. I choose to keep to myself but if I do have to converse with my co-workers, I generally ask them how have they been, what have they been up to since I last spoke with them. People love to talk about themselves. When the conversation is deflected onto me, I keep the answers brief without giving too much about myself away.
I don't understand how your boss can't really get the fact that workplace gossip (the typical scenario that happens all the time) ever adds to productivity. Workplace gossip can be destructive to groups and if such had happened often in the past, it is natural to avoid any potential possibility of it ever happening. Since people admittedly say that they will never change for who they are and that as a worker you have to change to suit their culture then minimize what you have to say so that you dont' have to hear nonsense words like, You sound better because you have less to say. Lol.
Unless you have an employment contract, you can be fired for any reason or for no reason at all so long as the reason isn't specifically illegal (for example, firing you because you're black, or pregnant, etc). Being unsociable does not make you a member of a protected class. In this case, I do have some sympathy for your employer. Teamwork within a group is important. If the other people in your work group feel like you're being unfriendly with them, it does hurt overall group performance because they might be less likely to interact with you when they need to if they feel that you're aloof. Finally, I don't think the purpose of the social events is to form intimate connections, it's just to get to know people a little better. Taking some small interest in people's lives outside of work is pretty normal for most people. You need not become close personal friends, but some degree of socializing can be entertaining and even casual social bonding can improve teamwork back on the job. In this case, I suspect that making even a token effort to get to know the people you work with would be enough to divert focus from this problem. Given some thought, you can probably find things to talk about that aren't particularly revealing about yourself (sports are usually a reliable ice breaker among men, books you've read, movies you've seen, popular TV shows, etc.), and if you'd rather not even reveal that much, most people are always happy to talk about themselves. Ask about their hobbies or families, and feign as much interest as you can. You may also find that some of the people you get know are people you will want as friends. I'm not fond of socializing at work either, but I've met some people I like in spite of myself.
Draino never worked worth a crap for me. But it wont hurt plastic pipes.
Every corporate culture is different and you've landed in one where they blur their professional and personal lives. This is certainly unusual but some people like to make work fun. I agree that you should have relationships with those you wish to and if I was forced to attend a party every month I would have to quit. Were you told these events were part of your job before you accepted this job? Unless you're being paid to attend social events and you're fired, you could file a law suit. Could you speak with HR about the threat you just received and get their advice? Try being less of a mystery at work and maybe they'll get off your back. Go to lunch with them or have some personal conversations. Not intimate, just friendly and casual. There's nothing wrong with having friends at work, so maybe there just isn't anyone there you hit it off with. I'm guessing you won't be happy here. I would start looking for an organization that will value your skills and talents. Or, you could stay if you're happy. Just take a date along and ditch the event after everyone has had a few drinks.
